Ok, so I’ve been getting a lot of stick for the Article I wrote a while back on how some people just shouldn’t cosplay. I stand by what I said, I still think if you are gonna Cosplay you should do something that suits you and not just do something easy for the sake of it. I also stand by the fact fat girls in Lycra is just wrong however you look at it. But I think I shall go into my points a bit more, because I do not hate fat people which is what some of you seem to think.
Since I wrote that post I have been to several Anime coventions and witnessed some AMAZING cosplays and some AWFUL Cosplays. I think that it’s just hit and miss with Cosplay. There is more to it than saying “Oh Man Rikku is so hot. I’ll be here and everyone will think I am hot”. I think a lot of Cosplayers are very unimaginative to be honest, it’s all Bleach/Naruto/FinalFantasy and it gets boring. I’m not saying these people don’t do a good job in their Cosplays, because they do, but I wish people took more risks. There was a group of people I know who were different Digimon at the MCM Expo this year, that was interesting and attention grabbing. One of my friends was Gloomy Bear and he looked amazing. I would actually like to see more Sailor Senshi aswell, but they are all outnumbered by people being Bleach Characters or Narutards. It makes me think Cosplaying to some people is about being recognised and seeing how many photographs will be taken of them. I mean a Bleach character is going to get more photos than a character from say Lovely Complex or Somedays Dreamers but it shouldn’t be down to how many photos you get it should be down to being a character you love no matter how well known it is.
This is an amazing Cosplay. It’s amazing how creative some people can be with such over-cosplayer Characters such as the ones in Death Note (: Now if only everyone could be this clever. Having said that if we didn’t have the world of lame Cosplayers we wouldn’t appreciate the amazing Cosplayers so much. I have discovered that Cosplaying is a crazy and weird world full of elitism and wonderfully creative people. It is also full of semi-naked obese women painted blue in thongs. Which terrifys me.
I have a lot of respect for people who Cosplay well (: I hope that next time I cosplay I’ll be awesome aswell!
It is no secret that I have an intrest in this Anonymous Situation that’s going on at the moment. It’s taken over my You Tube time and has taken my attention away from Britney Spears being commited. It might just be me but the Anonymous videos on YouTube from some of the “members” can actually be very entertaining. Though the most entertaining ones are usually when the member isn’t actually in the video (therefore not breaking the rules on Anonymous). So I decided to make a bit of a compilation of all my favs. Paul Fetch may think everyone will HATE ME FOR SUPPORTING ANONYMOUS but I know better than he does
Earlier today, Namco-Bandai had updated their website to show that both Beautiful Katamari and Eternal Sonota are not as exclusive to the Xbox360 as we have all heard before. Currently, Beautiful Katamari is listed for all three platforms, with release dates TBA on both the PS3 and the Wii and the Xbox360 release still scheduled for October 16th in America, and Eternal Sonota, while once only being known as a Xbox360 title, is now also listed for a PS3 release as well. In other news, Xbox360 fanboys across the intrawebs cried “OMG HAX” as news of this was spread through the intratubes.
So, until next time, remember this: “Timed-Exclusive until otherwise stated” applies for ALL 3rd Party games.
So you claim to liek Mudkips? Well then, you are an unholy animefag with a penchant for that fag-out-of-Pokemon’s dick. But that is fine, really—to each his own.
Spawned from a DeviantArt comment inviting someone to their Pokémon group, the comment basically used the person’s apparent like of Mudkips to perhaps entice the user to join their group. Whether or not said person actually joined is unknown.
It eventually spawned a very popular piece of copypasta on 4chan’s /b/ telling a story about someone at a school asking “So i herd u liek mudkips” to some retard who screams back “I LUUUUUUUUUVE MUDKIPS!” This resulted in the retard dry humping a Mudkips doll in the school hallways.
When Hitler took the reign in Germany he promised them the Endsieg. For this he used MUDKIPZ! When Hilter finally killed himself he also killed his cousin/wife and even his dog, but he couldn’t bring himself to kill his beloved Mudkipz.
The Copypasta
One day on Halloween, I decided to fuck with the major retard at school when I came out of science for break. He was dressed as Ash. Knowing this was going to happen, I brough a Mudkips doll. Thus I started the conversation, making sure no one saw me.
“So I heard you like Mudkips…”
“Mudkips? I LUUUUUUUUUUUURVE MUDKIPS.”
“O RLY? So, would you ever fuck a Mudkips, that is..” (he cuts me off before I could said ‘if you were a Mudkips’) “OF COURSE.”
“Well I just happen to have a Mudkips here, and.”
Before I finished the sentence, which would have resulted in me hitting him across the face with the doll, he grabbed it. In one swift motion his pants were down and he was violenly humping it. Not to get between a man and his Mudkips, I started to walk away, because there is no way I’d be caught wrestling a half-naked crazy guy humping a Mudkips.
Needles to say, within 5 to 10 seconds, some girls saw him and started screaming. I cooly walked into a restroom, pretending nothing had ever happened; not that I had intended that outcome, but now that it was in play I didn’t want to be involved.
I came back two minutes later, and like any wanton act on school grounds there was now a huge crowd round him. He was still fucking it and baying this real fucked up ‘EEEEEEEEEEINNNNF EEEEEEEEEEINNNF’ sound. Suddenly a scuffle broke out in the middle, meaning he probably did something stupid.
I asked someone what had happened. A girlfriend of one of the football players tried to get him to stop, but he bit her for trying to take it away. Someone called in a few football players (all dressed up like Road Warrior) who proceeded to pummel the shit out of the guy. Meanwhile the school police were freaking out and having trouble getting in to the situation.
A few minutes later the intruder alarm went off and we were shuffled into classrooms. Over the intercom the principal announced that someone had thrown a flaming plush toy into the library. Uh.. what the hell.
So we were kept there and about 30 minutes later the principal came on again. This time he was saying that whoever was behind the beating should turn themselves in. All of a sudden this woman began yelling “I WILL SUE YOU FOR DAMAGES. YOU LITTLE PUNKS, I’M GONNA SUE…” and it was cut off.
I asked an office later what had happened. Apparently his mother had come to pick him up and threatened to sue for the beating and ‘whatever else happened.’ The school threatened to counter-sue because of lewd conduct, inciting a riot, and starting a fight.
So I ask you: Do you like Mudkips?
By the way, you MUST ALWAYS EVOLVE IT INTO A MUDKIP! YES
Also, here’s a question to ponder: How much mud could a Mudkip kip if a Mudkip could kip mud?
What People Are Saying About Mudkips
Roselias aren’t red, mudkips are blue, in Soviet Russia, mud kips you. –Phoenix 17:01, 4 August 2007 (CDT)
Mudkips saved my life –Anonikip 12:38, 17 July 2007 (GMT)
Mudkips are superior human beings, OMG CONSPIRACY –Balci 17:26, 5 July 2007 (UTC)
Mudkips doesn’t care about black people –O.C. 03:31, 9 January 2007 (UTC)
I especially liek mudkips in a lively Boullabaise sauce. With added Vitamin B. Served on a Swastika tablecloth. –Chemical Smelly 01:01, 18 October 2006 (UTC)
OMG! I ♥ MUDKIPS!@5#!%%!!! –Riboflavin 20:12, 6 September 2006 (UTC)
MUDKIPZZZZ FTW-KetRefill/lol 08:57, 8 September 2006 (UTC)
What the hell are mudkips? I still don’t get it. –girlvinyl 18:07, 26 September 2006 (UTC)
If by “liek” you mean “hate”, and by “mudkips” you mean “a punch to the urethra” Then yes, I fucking liek mudkips. –infernocanuck 22:38, 26 October 2006 (UTC)
u dont haf to liek mudkipz 4 them 2 eat u out. Her schism 06:21, 18 December 2006 (UTC)
Everyone lieks mudkips. — Some faggot 13:16, 24 December (UTC)
I lieks teh mudkips. — Red Machine D 16:00, 24 December (UTC)
I liek mudkip. In a zesty balsamic vinegar glaze. — Snuffy Livingston 06:34, 1 January 2007 (UTC)
Well, it’s a pretty attractive little creature. I kind of want to put my penis on it. ChairmanMeow 06:47, 1 January 2007 (UTC)
I’ve had mixed feelings about Mudkip for years but while we do fight a lot I know deep down in my heart that I liek Mudkip, I just hope it feels the same way. –Entropy 04:28, 6 January 2007 (UTC)
I let my mudkipz masturbate into my beef-flavored ramen noodelz. ^_^ –Caesius 02:01, 9 January 2007 (UTC)
In Communist Russia, mudkip raepes YOU –odrama bin hepin 02:23, 9 January 2007 (UTC)
I have no idea what to say about mudkips other than I liek them. –Kazi 03:28, 9 January 2007 (UTC)
A mudkip is fine too. –KN 15:30, 9 January 2007 (UTC)
Mudkips are AWWWWWWRIGHT! — John Dublin 17:30, 9 January 2007 (UTC)
Someone once asked of me, “do u liek mudkips?” Of course, I replied, “I LIEK MUDKIPS!” in a very loud, very angry voice. That guy died of AIDS. True story. –Brightmotor 05:40, 10 January 2007 (UTC)
i think there’s a bit of mudkip in all of us. –Super Jamie 10:14, 10 January 2007 (UTC)
i don’t liek mudkips. i liek woopers…Cirrus 13:29, 10 January 2007 (UTC)
Then you are gay! I liek mudkips 4eva <3<3<3 The Towel of Doom 13:32, 10 January 2007 (UTC)
MUDKIPS?!? WE CAN’T AFFORD TO LOSE NO STINKIN’ MUDKIPS. SEND IN A COUPLE O’ NIGGERS. Mustardayonnaise 18:26, 10 January 2007 (UTC)
I didn’t fuck that mudkip, stop writing lies about me on webpages. I just liek them =( –User:Vodkaz
One does not simply liek into mudkips. –Qax the duk 00:18, 12 January 2007 (UTC)
I liek Mudkips about as much as I hate the huegness of my Xbox. A LOT! –KaTOS 12:55 01/12/07 //[www.pgbdynasty.com]//
When my friend told me about mudkips, i knew, before i even saw a pic, while he was trading it to me, somehow I already knew deep inside that I lieked them. I could feel it in the link cable. –Ma$s / 12:57 PM :: Jan. 12th, 2007 [M2]
Mudkips killed my father and raped my mother –BeamYosho 04:26, 21 January 2007 (UTC)
I have a mudkip, it makes me feel sort of warm THERE and kind of tingly inside. Are you feeling warm THERE and tingly, te he te he te he, do you want to play with my mudkip? Emo6irl 10:50, 23 January 2007 (UTC)
Mudkips? Never heard. –Sigmundur 23:30, 9 March 2007 (UTC)
Sometimes I like to go into some heavy petting with my mudkip… –Hakenkreuz 03:18, 3 February 2007 (UTC)
A wizard turned me into a mudkip, and it IS awesome! A RAPE SPIDERAPPROACHES! 08:25, 23 February 2007 (UTC)
All your lieks are belong to mudkips lolzz. Sorry, no one said it yet, and I just had to. –S 04:20, 3 February 2007 (UTC)
Hey guys, sorry I’m late. Is it too late to jump on this meme??? –CATS 14:17, 7 February 2007 (UTC)
I once open mouth kissed a mudkip. –Astro 23:19, 7 February 2007 (UTC)
I like your Mudkip, if you know what I’m saying. –Fukkensaved 00:24, 12 February 2007 (UTC)
Mudkips make me hard –Trollcat 10:17, 13 February 2007 (UTC)
moar Mudkip on toast I 16:47, 15 February 2007 (UTC)
I used to liek mudkip but not now he is an father of Anna Nicole Smith’s child –Anzac 20:08, 17 February 2007 (UTC)
I loveth mudkip. Although I heard Ioji haets mudkip.–Pokchu 23:26, 18 February 2007 (UTC)
Mudkipz were actually responsible for Steve Irwin’s death. They used their BUBBLA BEAM LAWL –DarthMethodist 08:06, 22 February 2007 (UTC)
I am a secksy mudkipz –Ebola 08:10, 23 February 2007 (UTC)
I liek mudkip but mudkip doesn’t liek me. –Radioshed 21:09, 23 February 2007 (UTC)
Mudkipz haxs mah penize LoL. My Mudkipz praise satan, but than became an EMO, any healps on how to make him an hero? –Huntrax 17:38, 25 February 2007
MUDKIPS JUSTICE should be some kind of television show. Pandamandan87 20:43, 25 February 2007 (UTC)
wen i see mudkip i go “EEEEEEEEEEEENF” becuz it is the sound of my e-ternal luv 4 dem –Spasticfleisch 01:14, 26 February 2007 (UTC)
i’ve finally realized what mudkips really are, and am sickened– my second thought was MUDKIPS R FINE 2, bt it was too late, & i realized i ws a filthy faggot :,\ Molulster 02:55, 26 February 2007 (UTC)
time spent with mudkips are never wasted - Blamethrower 02:45, 26 February 2007 (UTC)
I live for mudkipz and their beautiful faces. –Christpuncher 03:55, 26 February 2007 (UTC)
If I see that fucking mudkip one more time. - Point59 4:46 03 March 2007 (UTC)
That’s not funny. A mudkip killed my brother that way. –Litterbox 21:07, 4 March 2007 (UTC)
I hear they’re good with BBQ sauce - LizardKing 13:09, 6 March 2007 (UTC)
I WOULD SURE AS HELL FUCK A MUDKIPS - BURK 2:00, 16 March 2007 (UTC)
When I’m feeling depressed but want to chear up: I just think of mudkips. –Nihlidos 08:08, 28 March 2007 (UTC)
Bitch, what the fuck were you thinking? I will rape you in front of your own mama, and then fuck that bitch in the eyesockets until her old ass is dead! Oh….. yea….. mudkips are cool, I guess.Cronos12390 18:08, 2 April 2007 (UTC)
u herd rite -LightningBaron 15:53, 10 April 2007 (GMT+1)
I love Mudkip, and it loves me. In fact, it made me gay Wagtrain 22:01, 13 April 2007 (UTC)
I thought mudkips were some kind of cookies…But I don’t liek them. They haev AIDS. Eumary 22:01, 13 April 2007 (GMT-4)
ANYONE WHO WOULDN’T BEAT THEIR BABY TO DEATH FOR SAYING “DADA” INSTEAD OF “MUDKIP” IS A FILTHY RACIST THERE I SAID IT Kuraigunoir 9:56, 19 April 2007 (GMT+10)
I traded my shiny pidgey for a mudkip! — Tekjester 11:35, 23 April 2007 (UTC)
What the fuck are mudkips? Whatever they are, they need MOAR MUDKIPZ! –Khalnath 05:00, 11 June 2007 (CDT)
SWAMPERT R BETTAR! OrangeNub 20:54, 13 June 2007 (CDT)
Some times all I wanna do is FUCK a mudkips. If I ever met one I would take it, put it on the counter, and rape its ass, Mudkipz would have a little tiny scream, For It hurts. I keep doing that, After that I apologize for any pain that I caused him. After, I would drink some water, and then lay mudkipz down in a bath, I’de cut mudkipz to pieces, she sees a tear drop fall from my eyes over what Im doing, she apologizes with her sad eyes and the water drowns her while the blood is leaving her. There is blood all over my bath tub. Mudkipz has a giant cut from her back to her stomach. I then go to the forest, I have sex with mudkips some more. Then I would notice that there are 13 year old boys playing pokemon. I leave mudkips out there, and say “good bye my love”. I can hear her voices in my head saying “goodbye.. I love you”. I leave. As im leaving some genuis walks out and sees mudkips. Him and the rest of his friends are scarred for life. Rembrant 21:07, 13 June 2007 (CDT)
I’d hit it. Sexually, of course. Jimbobbowilly 21:11, 13 June 2007 (CDT)
Teh Mudkipz will l33T h4×0rz urs! kutaap 16:16, 14 june 2007
So I herd mudkips liek me. Burgerking3000 21:32, 9 August 2007 (CDT)
I lieks mudkipzs bcuz tehm r leet. tehm mudkipz r so leet, tehm liek use steroids to raise strenght in pokemans games. barry bonds=weaksauce next to juiced mudkipz. btw, mudkipz makes teh best leetsauce ever. mudkipz 4ever!!!1111
If you do not liek teh mudkipz, you should be Perma-banned from life. Srsly. Enigmatarius 12:00, 13 August 2007 (CDT)
Evar wonder why Happy Negro is so Happy? Because he lieks mudkipz. Shinobiroronoa 12:52, 15 August 2007 (CDT)
Wikipedian Resistance
Many TOWfanbois are severely butthurt over the continued growth in Mudkips’ loev. To them, the Mudkip Pokemon is not notable as a meme or otherwise, and neither is any information about the most famous and beloved Pokemon.
A wannabe admin called Apostrophe (or ‘ as he prefers to be called since he’s to kewl for skewl) is the self-appointed guardian of all thing Pokemon on TOW. It will revert any attempt to inject lulz into an otherwise tragically uninteresting topic and has claimed that “memes are never notable” in edit summaries when removing such things as the delicious Mudkips copypasta and related macros. So sensitive is this Miltopian faggot that he frequently lashes out like a widdle baby with a poopy nappy when he finds evidence of Mudkips liek on TOW and once threatened to report a member of Mudkips Nation to Mongo for WP:No Personal Attacks during a Talk page flame war over Mudkips.
You can help Mudkips receive the recognition they so justly deserve by doing something positive to the TOW Mudkip article, liek unredirecting it from List of Pokemon article, making sure to use the word “liek” everywhere, even in the summary of edits that is never shown on the main page, and you will most surely be reverted. Let the drama and lulz ensue.
They can take away our contribs, but they will nevar take our MUDKIPZ! If you have a longstanding account on wikipedia, you might want to visit the Mudkip article, and argue with wikipedia’s staff of high school teenagers Mudkip specialists about Mudkip biology, or the fact that Mudkips are kind, loving creatures that need to be lieked.
IRL Mudkips
The “GFP Axolotl” is now available. If that sounds complicated, its because Mudkip Science is Serious business. Basically what it means to you and me is a Mudkip without the all important head-fin, that glows in the dark. What good is that, you might ask? Well, scientists at a lab secretly funded by Nintendo are hard at work experimenting with perfecting the ectopic dorsal fin. Ectopic as in “In the wrong spot” and “Dorsal fin” as in Lizard Mohawk. Do the math folks: Axolotl + Ectopic Dorsal Headfin = IRL MUDKIP, FUCK YEAH! Oh yeah, it will probably glow in the dark if you shine an ultraviolet LED on it, which also rocks.
Pray for Mudkips
A fellow mudkip lover calles in 99.5 KKLA to have them say a prayer for our little friend!
In yet ANOTHER one of Fox 11’s reports on “teh horrors of teh intrawebs”, this time they cover something serious, something that has MILLIONS addicted….. and that something is Maple Story.
…wait…what?
So, of the many (and I do mean MANY) MMO’s….they go after Maple Story? Now, I’m just confused. I mean, we all got some “lulz” from the 4chan/7chan/420chan story they did a while back, but this is just stupid. Yes, Maple Story is a free Korean MMO where you CAN buy extras, but it’s NOT REQUIRED. There’s a reason why parent’s need to set limits on how much their kids play games.
Woah…I can’t believe I just said that…
Anyway, claiming that “addiction” led these kids to “steal” from their parent’s to buy shit in game is a complete load of bullshit. This is just poor safeguarding of the PayPal account in question. More than likely, the parent just uses an auto-password saving feature of their browser to make things easier for themselves. Sorry Fox 11. Video games don’t do these things, shitty parents do.
….oh…and tune in next week when Fox 11 discovers the evils of World of Warcraft….GASP! >
…you can speak intelligently in Japanese about spirits, demons, war, death, tournaments, magic, and profoundly soppy love affairs, but the prospect of buying a movie ticket leaves you tongue-tied.
…”hai,” “baka,” and “hentai” come to your lips so easily that sometimes you have difficulty remembering what the English words are.
…none of your friends study Japanese, but thanks to you, they all have 50-word vocabularies.
…and if they used them in front of their moms, they’d get their mouths washed out with soap.
…you go native, to the point of buying Japanese rice in 20-pound bags and clearing all of the furniture out of your living room so you can sit on the floor.
…it’s 3 am, and you and your best friend are on the brink of a fistfight over whether Ranma-chan or Ranma-kun is cuter.
…you have a Ranma outfit.
…and so does your significant other.
…you’re keeping an eye on your little sister for signs of slacking off during school, making eyes at the school’s only bishonen, and disappearing suspiciously often for “slumber parties,” because if she becomes a magic girl, you want in on the action.
…your friends stage an intervention.
…but only because they want your tapes.
…some poor ex-mugger still hears the words “LEKKA SHINEN!” in his nightmares.
…you never bothered getting your new apartment hooked up to cable, and even Babylon 5 is a take-it-or-leave-it thing… but anyone who gets in the way of your mission to get the next Slayers volume is dead.
…only, if you’d written the last sentence, you would have worded it, “Anyone who gets in my way is Nakago.”
…you’ve contemplated growing your hair long so that you can put it up in dumplings.
…and you’re a guy.
…you feel like less of a woman because you can’t put away 5,000 calories in one sitting.
…you’re despondent because your chances to become an anime heroine are completely shot–you can cook.
…you refer to 21 as “over the hill,” and get more depressed the closer that day comes; you’re not ready to join the forces of evil, dammit!
…it’s not a bad hair day, it’s a Zelgadis hair day.
…your parents draw you aside and ask you whether you’re a Satanist, since all of those symbols you practice drawing in your notebooks look awfully suspicious to them.
…your kids think that cartoons are supposed to have writing at the bottom.
I bring your attention to the following report that was on FoxNews about 4chan:
This is why you should not watch news stations like Fox who think THE INTERNET IS SERIOUS BUSINESS. I mean look at this thing they claim 4chan users are HACKERS ON STEROIDS, DOMESTIC TERRORISTS and how 4chan is THE INTERNET HATE MACHINE. I mean come on, who is retarded enough to believe this rubbish?
Here are the facts people, 4chan is firstly NOT A SECRET WEBSITE ITS NOT! You can go to 4chan easily enough xD Its got cult status. If you ask most people where 4chan is they will tell you exactly where to go. People know 4chan, its infamous! Secondly THE INTERNET IS NOT SERIOUS BUSINESS. OH COME ON! I think I have said this a million times before but YOU CANT GET HURT ON THE INTERNET. All you have to do is ignore what is going on. OH NOEZ MY MYSPACE PAGE HAS BEEN HACKED OH NOEZ OH NOEZ I AM GOING TO DIE. Stop being so goddamn over dramatic! So they posted some Gay stuff on your MySpace, make a new one. Its not the end of the world. Why doyou have a MySpace anyway? My Space is gay in iteself.
So they say they are going to rape you, kill you and send death threats. The fact is they do not know where you live and unless you are stupid enough to post your address or phone numbers on your My Space accounts or anywhere else online they will NEVER be able to find you. For gods sake. To the mother who says her family were attacked by Anonymous so she bought a Dog, HOW THE HELL IS A DOG GOING TO DO ANYTHING? That’s just idiocy. The fact is you can choose to go on 4chan and you can choose not to go on 4chan. You can choose to ignore if /b/ comes after you or you can shout, argue and spam back. They can’t really hurt you at all via the internet.
THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS GOING ON IN THE WORLD THAN 4CHAN! THE INTERNET IS NOT SERIOUS BUSINESS AND BUYING A DOG WILL NOT PROTECT YOU FROM IT. STOP WHINING AND JUST IGNORE IT YOU BIG BUNCH OF IDIOTS.
The people at /b/ don’t take anything they say seriously, it is all for the lulz. The report says in shocking tones that they use anti-semetic and racist remarks. To be honest with you I’m sure most of us make racist jokes every now and then, we don’t mean them. My friends call me the Tinted one and Brown Town all the time, but because we know its not serious none of us care. I don’t think anyone on /b/ takes anything said there seriously and therefore don’t take offence. If you do take offence noone is telling you to go there and read whats going on. Why create hysteria about something that is really not doing anything to cause alarm about?
There is news out there that goes unreported. Injustice, death and atrocities that never get the airtime that they should. I am not surprised at FoxNews for doing this I just feel sorry for people who actually believe 4chan is something to worry about when there are so much more important things in the world. I feel sorry for those who think the internet is serious business.
The one, true religion, founded by author and batshit insanefucktard L. Ron Hubbard as a tax shelter, using material from his published works of science fiction as articles of faith. It is also known in its alternate spelling as “Sollontology”, as coined by TV talk show genius Gorgeous George. Scientology is not to be confused with a fabricated web of lies because everything L. Ron says is completely factual.
Adherents of Scientology are primarily Hollywood celebrities, lawyers, and women who want to penetrate Tom Cruise. [2]
Beliefs and Practices
Scientology drama is all too common, and most of it is extremely amusing. For instance, to advance in the faith to OT level III to learn the tale of Xenu, the galactic tyrant who, at least 100 years ago, stacked hundreds of billions of his frozen citizens on planes that looked like DC8’s with rocket engines, and hauled them over to Earth to be thrown into volcanoes before blowing them up with hydrogen bombs and brainwashing them with a “three-D, super colossal motion picture” for 36 days.
The traumatized thetans subsequently clustered around human bodies, in effect acting as invisible spiritual parasites that can only be removed using advanced Scientology techniques. The cost of reaching OT III is only $360,000. Central to the belief is in alien past lives, such as being “deceived into a love affair with a robot decked out as a beautiful red-haired girl”, being run over by a Martian bishop driving a steamroller, being transformed into an intergalactic walrus which perished after falling out of a flying saucer, and being “a very happy being who strayed to the planet Nostra 23,064,000,000 years ago”. All of this was on Wikipedia, so it is guaranteed the absolute truth.
If you are completely and fully suckered in, you can join an elite sector of Scientologists, the Sea Org, which stands for “Sea Organization”. This arm of the “Church” was dreamed up by Hubbard in the mid-60’s because he was (a) really drunk/doped out of his mind most of the time and (b) because he felt butthurt by the real U.S. Navy, who refused to give him ill-gotten glory and fame, so he made a toy navy of some real piece of shit ships. If you’re a good enough and devout enough Scientologist, when you join the Sea Org, you must sign a contract that binds you to the Scientology religion, the Sea Org and L. Ron Hubbard for a billion years, pledging to “come back” in all your reincarnations to serve him for that time. In exchange you get some really nifty things… You get about $16 a week in pay, your personal I.D. taken from you and locked away so you can’t jump ship, you get to do demeaning and degrading physical labor, and you give the Church tacit permission to put you in the “RPF” (Rehabilitation Project Force) which is a punishment gulag that will make you beg, whine, and plead like a little bitch for that degrading regular labor back. You may even find yourself locked in a ship’s chain locker if at sea, or in the basement of the Ft. Harrison Hotel with all that healthy asbestos. The RPF makes Gitmo Bay look like Club Med. In an interesting side note, while the crew of the Sea Org were sweating and toiling at sea on the Apollo, Hubbard’s Sea Org flagship, Hubbard himself surrounded himself with nubile, blonde 13 year old girls in hot pants and halter tops that he dubbed the “Commodore’s Messenger Organization” or “CMO”. He did this because running Scientology is serious fucking business. Sadly for him, he was also impotent.
Most agree that it is batshit insane, and Battlefield Earth was as good a movie as getting jackhammered in the urethra for 3 hours is fun. Scientology is, however, a very important part of society; it is one of the main sources in the Western world for the lulz.
E-Meter Auditing (Galvanometry)
Scientologists use a rudimentary galvanometer to measure the electrical resistance present in people who they call “pre-clear.” The process of lying is more difficult than the process of telling the truth, and galvanometers act like shitty lie detectors. When questions are asked of the “pre-clear” and the needle moves, they say that the little alien in their brain is making up lies for them to recite about their non-existent pre-birth past. Since no one actually knows what happened before their birth, “pre-clears” must learn to lie without affecting the galvanometer. If they can do this, auditors say they have become closer to becoming “operating thetans.” This is done by learning to believe the things Hubby wrote in his books, such as being born for the first time on another planet. In effect, it’s lie detector aided brainwashing.
Jennifier Lopez *Jello*, her father has been a $cientologist for over 20 years and most people make fun of J.LO because she hangs out with Tom Cruise and is known to practice VOODOO on her enemies. [7]
JJ Abrams, former Scientologist, and creator of Lost
Ethan Rom [8], William Mapother [9], this guy IRL is Tom Cruise’s cousin.
The History of Scientology
Battlefield Earth
In 2000, Fageologists discovered a new book of Scientology, called Battlefield Earth. Originally written at least 100 years ago, it is a prophecy about how Xenu will return to Earth and generally fuck everything up and enslave all of humanity to mine some crappy mineral. In the end of the book, some faggot slave finds an old military plane that couldn’t fight off the aliens when they first showed up and proceeded to blow the fuck out of all the aliens with it, saving the day. The moral of the story is: Store planes in caves. They get more l33t that way.
“
Everything about Battlefield Earth sucks. Everything. The over-the-top music, the unbelievable sets, the terrible dialogue, the hammy acting, the lousy special effects, the beginning, the middle and especially the end. God above, it’s bad. Sweet baby Jesus, it’s bad. By all that is holy and sacred on the Earth, this is a bad, bad, bad film
„
—Jonathan Ross, Movie critic
EarthLink $cientology Drama
It has been charged by most EDiot researchers of the $cam Church of Scientology that EarthLink is a front organization for Scientology. According to skeptictank.org:
Numerous individuals who have worked for this cult front company in the past have come forward to describe the fact that EarthLink’s help desk’s employees are ordered to claim that the Scientology crime syndicate doesn’t own and run EarthLink.NET. (See comments by ex-employees of EarthLink.net on The Skeptic Tank’s web site [10]) The fact is, the security of one’s e-mail which flows through these two companies is highly suspect and users who subscribe to either of these services should consider very carefully the history of the Scientology crime syndicate. In 1998, the weekly San Jose Metro ran an article called “Missing Links”, examining the Scientology-EarthLink controversy:Electronic free-speech advocates are concerned about the Scientology leanings of EarthLink founder Sky Dayton and the church’s history of litigation over copyright infringements on the internets;… Dayton is a vocal follower of the Church of $camientology who in the early days surrounded himself with upper management and private financiers who were also $cientologists;… As the company has grown, EarthLink executives have tried to distance the company from its Scientology roots, and for good reason. Unlike other religions, Scientology has earned a reputation for dragging ISPs into court for alleged copyright violations committed by private subscribers, something which electronic-privacy advocates believe could erode free discourse on the Net [[11]]. Dayton and his two financial backers are Scientologists. When this fact created controversy in the media, Dayton asserted that the idea that EarthLink was owned by the Church of Scientology was absurd, making the comparison, “It was like I’m Jewish, therefore EarthLink was involved with 9/11.”
Official Scientology Orientational Video
Apparently, they’ve gone to great lengths to make sure that people don’t see it. Expect a lawsuit if you even think about pondering the consideration of maybe some day downloading it. HOLY SHIT IT’S ALL BEEN DELETED! SURPRISE! conspiracy.
That made me laugh so much.
THE INTERNET IS NOT SERIOUS BUSINESS.
YOUR VENT CHANNEL IS NOT SERIOUS BUSINESS.
MMORPG’S ARE NOT SERIOUS BUSINESS.
If you remember these pointers you will have fun on the Interwebs.
If not well.. then I pray for your soul.
Why do people do this? YES WOMAN SOMEONE IN YOUR VENTS SPAMMING IT UP but like why did you get so mental over it? It wasn’t a big deal! It was someone on a vent channel using a soundboard and being quite funny really. If you hadn’t of had such a huge and seriously funny reaction to it then they probably would have left. The other thing is that your fellow Vent members were trying really hard not to laugh at you and props to them for actually almost keeping it together and not laughing at you. The person targetted you because you were the only one freaking out. WHY ON EARTH DID YOU ACT LIKE YOU WERE SCARED AT THE END? ITS THE INTERNET! ITS NOT LIKE HE WAS GOING TO JUMP OUT WITH A KNIFE AND KILL YOU! It is the Internet. The Internet is NOT serious business!
Jesus.
You’d think people would become less retarded but alas no. There will always be morons out there providing us with entertainment.
PINK DOMINO Welcome to Pink Domino.
The Place for Random Fandom.
Born into a family of enthusiastic and intelligent individuals who have passion for their fandoms and felt like showing the rest of the world why. Anime, Manga, Gaming, TV, Geekery.. You name it and we have someone who loves it and wants to convince you to love it too. THE INTERNETS ARE HERE
Enjoy!
Earlier today, Namco-Bandai had updated their website to show that both Beautiful Katamari and Eternal Sonota are not as exclusive to the Xbox360 as we have all heard before. Currently, Beautiful Katamari is listed for all three platforms, with release dates TBA on both the PS3 and the Wii and the Xbox360 release still scheduled for October 16th in America, and Eternal Sonota, while once only being known as a Xbox360 title, is now also listed for a PS3 release as well. In other news, Xbox360 fanboys across the intrawebs cried “OMG HAX” as news of this was spread through the intratubes.
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