You ugly, ugly hypocrites.

July 20, 2007

That’s right, kids. It’s that time again. I am angry, I am huffy and most displeasingly to you, I am so because of what people are doing to animals. That’s right, this is about the animals. Those short creatures with often more than two legs who you pretend to care about? Yeah, those.

I don’t eat meat. Actually, I try my hardest not to consume products of animal origin, regardless of form. But this isn’t Veganism 101, and I’m not here to tell you how to write your member of assembly. There’s some pretty specific shit I want to address.

Those of you who follow the NFL, or are Americans and follow the news (for some reason) know that vaguely conscious cro-magnon Michael Vick – AKA Ron Mexico – and the cadre of savages he calls his extended family have been indicted for running a dog fighting business on Vick’s property. Vick himself says he had no idea. Yeah, maybe it’s hard to keep track of dogs being brutally maimed and murdered on your land when you’re busy infecting women with STD’s. But this isn’t quite what I wanted to address either.

No, what really grinds my shit right now, is how some have reacted to this. Take Nike for example, who have been contributing to Michael Vick’s obscene wealth through sponsor contracts. Honestly, their reaction is nothing short of fucking gold:

“[Nike] is concerned by the serious and highly disturbing allegations made against Michael Vick, and we consider any cruelty to animals inhumane and abhorrent. We do believe that Michael Vick should be afforded the same due process as any citizen; therefore, we have not terminated our relationship.”

Wait, what? You mean to tell me that Nike, a company that makes about 99% of all their shoes out of leather, considers cruelty to animals inhumane and abhorrent? O RLY? Because, you know, it’s not as if leather requires an animal to die or anything! Nooo, we can just magically make authentic, brutally peeled off cow hide out of thin air, no cruelty required! Here’s my problem: fuckers like these are hypocrites. Now, I know that (sadly) most of you consider a vegetarian or vegan diet superfluous, because animals fare so well in the slaughterhouse and laboratory already. After all, we made powerful bolt guns that can be fired into the cow’s brain before we exsanguinate it! We gas our chickens into unconsciousness before we break their necks! Nevermind that in a factory farm, things are often required to go so fast, that there’s no time to check if the animal is unconscious before it is killed with such brutal methods as having their throats slit or necks broken.

I know most of you aren’t going to stop eating meat just because I wrote a little rant on the internet about it. But at least have the basic human decency to admit this: what you do, the animal farming economy you contribute to, is murder. And there is nothing compassionate or humane about murdering a fully born, sentient, live being, whether it happen in Chechnya, Iraq, the Soviet Union, the Deep South or the slaughterhouse or the laboratory. Regardless of the method. Regardless of the motive. Murder is murder.


One comment

  1. First of all: I agree and disagree with you at the same time. The entire business with an NFL dude I have never heard or cared about in my life, yeah, horrible, stop him, lock him up, happens half the globe away, done. There’s no excuse for that kind of treatment of animals.

    But still, I don’t feel any more murderous by buying a Hot Dog than I do for not doing anything against the murdering in Darfur. Horrible? Of course. But that’s the way humans are, because beneath all that varnish of civilization we vainly dab over ourselves, most of us are still animals. As you said, I won’t stop eating meat because of what you say, but I can assure you that I at least sit down and wonder why every now and then. I respect your opinion, even though I think you go a bit over the top when expressing it, and if you like living that way, more power to you. However, I just think that people eating meat in general and people having dogs bred for killing other dogs through torture are about as directly related as a pub brawl and the Yugoslavian genocide.

    And, to supplement your rant, just as my rant, let me supply an excessively specialized case study:

    We can all agree that capturing a live animal, inflicting wounds to it and then releasing it again only to chase it down once more is cruel. Doing so multiple times, for pure enjoyment, is doubly so. Finally ripping the poor thing open after it has lost all its legs and then consuming its entrails before putting it out of its misery is quite abhorrent.

    But I don’t see anyone stopping cats. Shazam.

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