Archive for the ‘Otaku’ Category

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Itazura No Kissu aka Blinded by Love

August 28, 2008

THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! BUT ONLY SPOILERS UP TO THE LATEST EPISODE!

I have been watching Itazura no Kiss and I have to say generally I am enjoying it. It’s not the most amazing Anime in the world but it’s the kind of story that attracts me. Girl loves boy, boy falls for girl with lots of funny stuff in the way. The thing about Itazura no Kiss is that Kotoko (the “heroine”) falls for a total cunt of a boy called Irie. Now you may think I’m being harsh now since he does fall in love her but the problem lies in the fact he is HORRIBLE to her the entire time. Irie already had a superiority complex. He thought he was better than Kotoko because she was dumb, clumsy and airheaded and he was super smart, good looking and good at everything. He totally brushed off when she tried to declare her love for him at school and to be honest we have got furthur into the season and they are married now and he is still treating her like dirt.

The thing is Kotoko should fight. She is being ignored and he treats her so coldly and she should have left him for the dude in her Nursing class. I don’t see how Irie could love her and why she is so defeatest about it. She gives in and blames herself for the fact Irie is so cold with her, she needs to show him that her love is something he has to work for. I hate this wimpy girl stereotype in Animes because it makes me think of girls who I know like that in real life. I know they exist but I want to see gutsy women like Risa in Lovely Complex. She was fantastic, alwas kicked Otanis ass. Kotoko should kick Iries ass so he treats her better. I mean they are married for christs sake! In my opinion Irie, although an interesting twist on the usual male lead, is annoyingl bland and that’s my main gripe with this anime.

Apart from that I’m enjoying it! 😀 Though Chris’ accent REALLY is quite annoying.

HELLO PINK DOMINO.

WE ARE BACK ;D

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SOME AMAZING COSPLAYERS

May 27, 2008

I was at the MCM Expo this weekend and I have to say these two girls were the first two cosplayers I saw that weekend and I went “WOW” at. There were many more that I did that too over ther weekend but these girls did look amazing.

Well done!

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Welcome to the N.H.K

November 4, 2007

I realise someone may comment on this entry and say “OLD ANIME IS OLD” but I, like a lot of Anime fans, don’t actually watch every anime every season. I didn’t have internet for about 3 years so I am catching up on Anime from about 2003 to early 2007 whilst watching anything new that comes out. So don’t you OLD ANIME IS OLD me. There are plenty of Anime fans out there who need a recap on Older Animes aswell as having new ones bought to their attention.

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I am in love with Welcome to the N.H.K.

I stumbled across it after finding some images on 4chan in/c/ of Misaki and thinking she looked interesting! I am glad I checked out the anime because it is weird and funny and I do think I love it. I always like watching Animes that take a look at the life of the Otaku, even if they do go a bit over the top sometimes with the personality traits of the Otaku. Yamazaki is the classic Stereotype Otaku. One with walls covered in posters of Moe girls, loads of dating sims and echhi images of his favourite characters, he gets angry and upset easily over things like how people see Otaku and the Gaming industry and it scares me to death that I actually know people like him. Not all Otaku may be at that extreme that Yamazaki is but we are all guilty of having our favourite characters and collecting images. That’s what all Anime fans do right? We get into a series, we develop favourite characters and then we collect all images of them we can find. Hence the success of Image board websites and stuff. It’s just scary that you look at Yamazaki and in some ways at Sato, the Hikikomori.

You look at Sato and you think who do I know who would rather sit around and watch Anime than go out and socialise? You realise that there are more and more people who do this. The internet is great and all but people can become dependent on their computers. I mean you can watch TV, watch Movies, download any sort of entertainment, play games and talk to people on your computer. So whilst people who do this are Hikikomori it’s probably not the same as it was say ten or twenty years ago. You can be isolated in your room but talk to loads of people via an instant messaging program. Not that that is healthy in any way but it’s plausible and people do it. Sato is someone everyone can relate too, and this is worrying. Especially when he has a breakdown and goes all Lolicon on us. Animes that hit home draw you in and make you want to watch them.

I’ve only got to Episode 5 of Welcome to the N.H.K but it’s had me hooked from the start. The fact that it’s at the moment focusing on Yamazaki and Sato’s attempt to create an H-Game and Satos fall into Lolicon Otakuism is something that is entertaining to watch. If, like me, you have not watched this Anime yet I seriously reccomend that you do. It’s a good Anime. Besides it has the most kick ass opening and ending themes ever (:

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Anime Loving Geek Girls: The Best Kept Secret

August 15, 2007

…”i have to admit fan girls are the most perverted people EVER! If only boys at school knew that they shouldnt go after the ‘school slut’ just go for the geeky fan girl, they are ALWAYS horny lol”…

This was put to me the other day and it got me thinking because in a lot of ways it’s true! I wouldn’t say Geek Girls on a whole are more perverted and horny than Hot Girls (I know Hot Girls is an AWFUL way of generalizing them but I mean those popular, cheerleadery types you see in teen American Shows xD) but I think Anime Loving Girls are. As I said in my last post, if you’re an Anime Loving Girl you are exposed to SO MUCH sex. It’s true! Because a lot of Anime is filled with sexual tension, innuendo and plain outright fanservice. We are used to sex. So is the above statement true? Are we what the horny boys should be going for? Let’s try and figure this out!

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Let’s start with the fact Anime Loving Girls love their Cosplay. It’s true you know, we do, and most Cosplay outfits are based on Women in Anime who are amazingly Sexy. Look at the girl Above who is Cosplaying as the Wicked Sexy Misa-Chan from Death Note. She looks AMAZING. That’s the thing about Cosplay, it makes Anime Loving Girls not afraid to dress sexy and show a bit of skin. Even if they are doing BAD COSPLAY they still aren’t afraid. This makes them more confident in themselves and they feel sexy. Therefore Roleplay isn’t something that would scare an Anime-Loving Girl away. I think Role Play is something the Anime Loving Girl would be at her element in rather than the Hot Girl who may call you a freak and never want to touch you. So we have learned that Cosplay makes Anime Loving Girls not afraid of dressing up and not afraid of looking sexy. Hence why you should go for them more than the Hot Girl.

All Anime Loving Girls have an Image Stash and a lot of that Image Stash is ECCHI ECCHI ECCHI! As I said we are decensitized to it so we don’t actually see it as boobies and asses, we see the images as cool Anime pictures. So if you are one of those boys (I mean like EVERY BOY) who watches a bit of the old Pron or perhaps even some Hentai a Anime Loving Girl is more likely to sit down and watch it with you and get excited with you than chew you out about it and make you promise to never do it again. It would be hypocritical of her to say that you couldn’t have magazines hidden under the bed when she has an Ecchi stash hidden away on her computer. A few people I know have even said they hide their Yaoi and Echhi Mangas from their boyfriends rather than their boyfriends hiding their Pron from them. Anime Loving Girls are just as perverted and Echhi as any normal boy. Which I think is more refreshing then having girls squeal at you in dissaproval and make you throw ally our magazines away! The average Anime Loving Girl will make you feel comfortable and probably make the first move too because of all this xD Just don’t be scared by her love of Yaoi, if she is a Yaoi Fangirl that is, accept it and move on!

Because of these two main factors you will find that Anime Loving Girls are more open and more experimental than Hot Girls. Where Hot Girls will scream No and call you weird Anime Loving Girls will probably join in and make things hotter. So why don’t men (who are looking for some hot girls xD) realise this? Because they assume Anime Loving Girls are geekis and what is the sterotypical image of a Geek? Someone who sits along in their room all day, doesn’t have many friends and obsesses over episodes of Star Trek. Also that Geek Girls are not hot. Both of these are completely untrue and perhaps it is the Mans fault he is missing out on the great action that is the Anime Loving Geek Girl. No doubt if he got himself one of those girls and treated her good he’d be getting the best loving of his life.

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Ouran High School Host Club AKA Why Anime gives me unrealistic Boyfriend templates!

July 24, 2007

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Are you looking for…

Twincest?

Girls dressed as guys?

Rich people?

Loli Shota?

If you’ve answered yes to one or more of the abvoe the Ouran High School host Club is the Anime for you! I’m sure most of you have already seen this by now but if you haven’t and you plan too THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS SO MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’T READ MUCH MORE. I do warn you so don’t ever complain I don’t.  Ouran Host Club does have it all though girls dressed as guys, guys dressed as girls, forbidden love twincest, and 18 year olds that look like they are 10. In short its enough to get a lot of female Otaku crazy because lets face it, we like to oggle hot anime men as much as the boys like to oggle Yoko’s boobs and Rei.

So whats OHSHC about anyway? Well in short its about Haruhi, a girl who is from a working class single parent family who joins a super duper exclusive rich kid academy on a scholarship. She looks like a boy, in jeans and shirt with short hair and glasses, a bookwork if you will. She wanders into a room one day within the Academy belonging to the Host Club, a club of hot young men who run a service entertaining and flirting with the young ladies of the academy. Suou Tamaki is the leader of the club and “prince type”.  Haruhi breaks an expensive vase and becomes the clubs lackey but then they realise her talent as a natural host and she becomes the clubs newest member. As the first episode rolls they all realise she’s a girl and pledge to keep it a secret from the rest of the school (mainly for profit and because Tamaki is in love with her and is easily jealous).

I love this series. Why? FIVE VERY HOT MEN. This is why I have an unrealistic image of the perfect man in my head because Anime creates these guys would would just never exist in real life yet there is part of my head that thinks somewhere they might do. Even though the characters all have flaws they are flaws that seem to make them more attractive. For example Kyoya hides his emotions away and acts cold and indifferent but this is all an act in the end. So it all highlights the fact he is caring and stuff. No girl in their right mind would ever turn down Tamaki, Kyoya, Kaoru and Hikaru or Mori. We’d turn down Honey though unless of course you are into the LoliShota thing and like boys to look 10. I don’t, mainly because I am not a pedophile. Bar Honey the other five are charismatic, charming, funny, romantic and good looking guys. You love them in the Anime and you know if they were only real you’d love them a million times more.

Yes yes I know its sad to find anime men atrtactive but i dare you to watch Ouran High School Host Club and not want to bang at least one of those guys. Hell even the scary Bosonova-Kun who has the face that makes women run away seems hot once his sensitive side gets out and he starts blushing whenever Haruhi is near him because he loves her. I’D KICK CANS WITH YOU BOSONOVA-KUN! Those two episodes with him in made me laugh so hard.

This is what Anime does to me. I watch Anime and have an urge to be in an Anime situation. I am sure that japanese High Schools are nothing like the are in Ouran High School Host Club, Kanon, Azumanga Daioh or Lovely Complex but I can’t help but wish everytime I see a High School Anime that I went to High School in Japan. In my High School love was never confessed, mainly because the girls were all skank hos and the boys were all gangsta wannabes but in Anime love is confessed always in that sweet way where the one confession is really embaressed! I want that to happen! I want to give honmei chocolate and go to a host aclub and wear a cute sailor girl uniform with those wicked socks and have brightly coloured hair. I am not alone either. Look in your hearts, you know you want it too!

There is a point in Ouran High School Host Club where Kaoru and Hikary (hot twin brothers known as the “Devil Type” who are constantly showing their forbidden love ie twincest) are explaining to Haruhi why they are so popular within the club. Although the girls go goo-goo over their “tender” brotherly love and the affection they show each other the thing that keeps them coming back is the fact that these girls will no doubt imagine both Kaoru and Hikaru on them at once and that creates the excitment. I think they describe it as too much to handle. That’s the nice thing about this anime, I’m so used to gawking at hot Anime girls and having them be alluring that having hot alluring men is a nice change. Its not all about Big boobs and perfect asses.

Ouran High School Host Club is a gem. The characters are all funny and unique and work so well as a team. They all compliment each other so well. The storyline is addictive and once you start watching you won’t stop till the end I assure you. If you haven’t watched it yet I really do suggest you get around to it soon (:

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Encyclopedia Dramatica Article of The Week 3!

July 7, 2007

WAPANESE!

Read ahead you know you want too. The article is from Encyclopedia Dramatica. I’m just sharing the Lulz.

The Wapanese (also called Japanophiles or “Weeaboo”) much like wiggers, are cultureless white people trying to fill this cultural void by pretending not to be white. In this case, by humping the giant Godzilla leg of the Land of the Rising Sun until they are assimilated into its culture, as if being azn is some kind of acquired communicable disease. So badly do they wish this, in fact, that they are willing to dedicate whole afternoons to memorizing up to five common phrases in Japanese and then misusing them at the mall or furry conventions. They frequent sushi bars, the Panda Express in the food court and Sanrio stores on a weekly basis. Their bathing is inconsistent, as they have no time for this – they’re usually too busy watching anime or buying plastic crap from the internets.

STATISTICS

  • Wapanese spend around 70% of their income on meaningless Japanese imported crap, much of which could be bought at Target for far less but MUST be imported because Japanese is liek OMG so cool.
  • 115% of cosplayers are Wapanese, as well as idiots.
  • Japanophiles insist on using chopsticks to consume everything from hamburgers to aspirin.
  • 82% of male Japanophiles have declared on their LiveJournals that they will never “settle” for less than an authentic Japanese girlfriend. IRL they often have to settle for their autistic cousin Stacey.
  • There is no known cure for Japanophilia. Injections of anti-venoms such as Polandolux and Brazilium have thus far been ineffective.
  • Japanophiles will complain when manga-influenced comic books created in America for Americans are not printed right-to-left. These particular people should be turned inside out with a coat hanger and made to observe the world through their own asshole.
  • At least 90% of Wapanese will own bootlegs, and will risk their lives not letting that fact out.
  • 70% make their own clothes, lolita or fruits, and it shows.
  • 65% of a Wapanese boner is fantasizing for an American idealized female body replete with 34DD breasts, pink nipples, and a thinly muscled stomach that seques into voluptuous, shapely hips, and the other 35% of it is for an idealized Japanese face that goes O.o when shocked at the sight of big American penis and ^O^ when orgasming (see also: bullshit)

IDENTIFYING SOMEONE AS WAPANESE

There are many telltale signs of Wapanese, the biggest one being that they will refer to each other as Otaku and kawaii desu yo! Other warning signs include:

  • In photographs, a Wapanese will always be shown making a peace sign with one hand, while squinting their eyes and contorting their facial features into a grotesque imitation of the ^_^ smiley, EVEN if they weren’t actually doing so when the picture was taken.
  • A tendency to mercilessly butcher the Japanese language, throwing around random words and phrases whilst completely ignorant to what they mean. For this reason, the term “Wapanese” can also refer to the language spoken by such sad individuals. Almost all Wapanese will pretend to know the Japanese language and will constantly go “I know Japanese!! Kawaii!!” when a Japanese or part-Japanese loli comes within 20 miles of the vicinity. Most Wapanese cannot actually sustain a conversation for more than five seconds with a Japanese person.
  • They have a compulsive need to wear at least one item of Hello Kitty clothing at all times.
  • Listening to shitty J-rock bands nobody has ever heard of.
  • They want to take in the local asian culture festival every spring, no matter how viciously dull it is.
  • The average Wapanese will whine non-stop about how everyone else who professes an interest in Japanese culture is a poser. They will then throw on their favourite Dir En Grey CD and take out their impotent, white rage on the last few sticks of Pocky they ordered from J-list.
  • Japanese characters in their LiveJournal interests.
  • Wanting to go to Japan and only Japan to meet the love of their life.
  • Username and/or 99.9% of their friends list‘s names end in the letter “u” or “-chan”.
  • A large sweatdrop will appear on their forehead when confronted about the fact that they have never even seen a Japanese person in real life, let alone ever been to Japan.
  • Wapanese have an undying obsession with anime, and very often, it’s the only thing they watch.
  • Closely related to the rarer “Koreanophile”.
  • 90% of wapanese people have AZN or 4ZN in their screen names, though they are not at all Azn
  • Hanging out with asians in the arcade, playing DDR, Tekken or Initial D. It’s not hard to spot the odd one out there.
  • Usually saving up for their next trip to Japan, so they can buy a lolita dress that their fat will spill out of. Most likely will be worn with striped socks and Hot Topic $20 shoes.
  • If not saving up for the lolita dress, buying the cheap Hot Topic version and wearing it 24/7.
  • If they’re a really rich nerd, they might be carrying a little Dollfie around with them dressed up in their own meticiously hand sewn clothing they imported from New Jersey.
  • They insult people using romaji, something that has nothing to do with the Japanese language.
  • Their life dream is not only to go to Japan, but also to break into the anime, manga or video game industry and have sex with all the blonde haired blue eyed Japanese girls they saw in Naruto…
  • Collecting samurai swords and posing in photos with them.
  • Constantly bitching and complaining about the country they are currently living in if it is not Japan and if they have been there then it is common to whine about wanting to go back every twenty minutes i.e. “I wanna go to Japan T_T!!!!”
  • Defending Japan’s long history of IRL banhammering other races
  • Pseudo-intellect. Often use big words like “pretentious”, “original” and “pseudo-intellectual .” Don’t be surprised if they misuse the semi-colon in an attempt to insult you on what ever message-board you’re using.
  • All of them have at least one account on Gaia Online or DeviantART. Discussing ethnicity, politics and religion as if they know what the fuck they’re talking about.

HILARIOUSLY, point out any internet website to a wapanese which uses their myspace account as an example of a wapanese persons, and they will claim they know who did it by saying something like “I know who did this, it was (insert wapanese fetish name in here, i.e Veronica, Erika etc)”. A classic example of a Wapanese LJ user can be observed here and here.

A classic example of a Wapanese forum user can be observed here.

WAPANESE IN DENIAL 

  • Throw fits when are confronted of being a Wapanese/Japanophile
  • Can be found religiously on 4chan.
  • Has Dir en grey or Gazette bootleg in CD player.
  • Attempts to counteract any of the above in the identification of Wapanese.

Classic examples of a Wapanese in denial LJ user:

Classic examples of a Wapanese in denial Myspace users:

Classic examples of a Wapanese in denial YouTube users:

Classic examples of a Wapanese in denial Veoh users:

HYPOCRITE WAPANESE

A hypocrite wapanese is almost identical to the Wapanese in denial. Though slightly differing, the hypocrite version tends to be more annoying. They prance about claiming they hate the Wapanese, but cream their panties on sight when they get the opportunity to go to Japan. Shelf life of a hypocrite wapanese living in Japan is about 2 months before they return home, realizing that the great Hide Matsumoto is dead and no Japanese will have sex with them.

  • Music interests (usually all J-POP) change weekly.
  • Attends anime conventions, don’t cosplay as anime/manga characters, but often go to check out the j-music playing.
  • Usually bisexual or gay from looking at pretty Japanese men in dresses.
  • Are usually under the age of 17.
  • Probably dress in Lolita, Decora, EGL, or any annoying Japanese fashion that the Japanese use to lure in the Gaijin’s beaucoup bucks.

Another classic example of a hypocrite wapanese LJ user:

THE CURIOUS (MATING HABITS OF) THE WAPANESE

While most Wapanese maintain that they will only settle for a real-live Japanese, most of them invariably end up settling for another Wapanese. The pair will go about collecting all sorts of little Japanese trinkets together, watching Naruto and Battle Royale endlessly together and making statements like, “Isn’t it kawaii how they loved eachother so much they jiatsu’d off the cliff together desu ka?” while secrectly wishing they’d actually found a Japanese person, or at least an Azn.

A lucky few Wapanese will manage to find an Azn who is in self-denial and chooses to be oblivious to the Wapanese’s obvious fetish for a culture that the azn has nothing to do with, and may even pretend to be Japanese themselves despite being Korean or Chinese. Usually this azn is a BBW and has low self esteem or aspergers, but, this matters little to the Wapanese, who is just happy to have some Oriental poon to lick. Fewer still are the Wapanese who manage to find and not alienate a Japanese with their overwhelming misunderstanding fanboyism of Japanese culture. These lucky few are usually so giddy that they are actually getting to hold the hand of a Japanese person that they fail to realize that their Japanese girl/boyfriend is only in it for the greencard and has few feelings other than embarassed disdain for them.

While this latter Wapanese thinks themselves to be l33t, is no longer talking to their American friends, and is planning on moving to rural Japan with their beloved to live on a farm like a Hayao Miyazaki film, buy a Nissan Skyline GTR and raise a whole litter of hapa children, their Japanese spouse is counting the days until they’re a naturalized citizen and can divorce without the threat of being deported like a Mexican so that they can take their time dating and finding an American they actually like. Hiniku na, desu ne? Hai, anata wa chieokure to yoboyobo to panti dorobo no desu! Anata wa chiryo ni iki masu.

Most true weaboos however settle for a lifelong relationship with Osaka from Azumanga Daioh and a lonely life of masturbation.

USEFUL WAPANESE PHRASES 

Some common Wapanese phrases you may hear that will help you identify a Japanophile:

  1. “Kawaii!” (Wapanese standard warning for, “Do Not Look Directly At.”)
  2. “Konnichiwa!” (Japanese mating call of the North American Giant Douchebag.)
  3. “Baka!” (Noise made when clearing throat to dislodge half-eaten sticks of Pocky, a popular snack formed in a pointless stick shape.)
  4. “-Chan” (Appended to every name to make it sound “kawaii.”)
  5. “Sugoi!” {Phrase said when they’re sure they’ve found their new mating partner. Most likely Japanese, or asian, if not, a wapanese like themselves.)
  6. “Ne!” (Usually said after sentences, a sign for the listener to punch them in the face. Is actually equivilant to amirite but no Wapanese realize this)
  7. “Itai!” (Heard when wapanese hurts themselves. Signals the hearer to hurt them more.)

When encountering a Japanophile, it’s best not to mention anything that could be related to something that could be likened to something that is marketed or found or approved of in Japan, such as books or food, PS3‘s or oxygen. Humans who tried to academically dispute the superiority of this xenophobic culture back in 1998 are still locked in unwilling debate today, or possibly just died standing up.

It should be noted that in every group of wapanese fucktards, there will be at least two people calling themselves kitsune and two more calling themselves usagi.

ARE YOU WAPANESE? 

Some of you reading this article may fear that you possibly exhibit some of these traits. This section of the article is here to put your fears to rest or to make you become an hero. These traits are not exhibited in any particular degree of intensity.

  • You watch Anime. So what? Some of it’s actually pretty cool shit to watch. Stuff like FLCL, Excel Saga, Cowboy Bebop and other things are stuff you can kick back with and say, “Damn, this is some cool assfucking shit, it is.” However, when your Netflix queue or Best Buy gift card becomes jam packed with crap you indiscriminately picked because the cover was jammed with Japanese text and it featured some heart-faced little bitch old enough to get you a 15 year prison sentence in real-life circumstances, yeah, you’re probably Wapanese and should have your Hello Kitty pencil set jammed up your ass so far it impacts your colon like a Mack truck hitting a kitten. (KAWAII!!!! ^_^) Initial symptoms of this include a more-than-natural liking to shit-dubbed 4Kids cartoons such as One Piece and Pokemon, in which case violent retching and/or rubbing your eyes with sandpaper has long since proven effective remedies.
  • You bought something at a Japanese market in the U.S. Stopping in to one of these small stores primarily placed there for Japanese immigrants who would like to keep buying some of the products from home they liked. They usually carry kick-ass coffee drinks that put you to sleep even faster than Red Bull/Cocaine cocktail, perfect for late nights spent writing shit articles about counter-culture on websites. However, most of this shit is hideously priced due to import regulations and the government being greedy cocksuckers, so it shouldn’t be more than a passing fancy if you’ve got spare cash after blowing your paycheck on your ungrateful shitheel of a boy/girlfriend. Wapanese usually buy everything they own from these stores, making the poor folks who work there scared it’s going to become a hangout for other Wapanese, thereby stinking up the place with their own distinct odors and mangled Japanese language skillz.
  • You are a virgin.
  • You buy/frequent stores that sell imported video games. While there are some great game series that come from Japan (Final Fantasy excluded) and the XBox is the only gaming system worth a damn that comes from outside of Japan, Wapanese tend to focus mostly on obscure Japanese game titles with severely obscure forms of gameplay. Sadly, the disturbing success of the Wii means more normal people are now at risk of turning Wapanese. A marathon session of Gears of War on the XBox 360 is recommended to cure any urge to import any of the aforementioned games.
  • You jerk off over Asian Porn Stars. Shit, who can really decry that? Some of those whores are pretty fucking hot. However, they’re usually azn, born in the good old U.S. of A. Japanese porn, usually viewed by Wapanese in lieu of American or European porn, contains pixelated genitalia. It’s been said that this is due to some fucked up Japanese law, but studies indicate that this is actually a birth-defect, or maybe an inherent STD coming from the fact that NO JAPANESE PORN STAR SHAVES HER VAGINA. EVAR. Nothing turns on a Wapanese like the sight of unshaven, stinky mosaic coochie.
  • You dress up like a Lolita or any Japanese clothing they got today, and not because any one or more of:
    • Japanese (or a blood-fraction thereof),
    • a non-Wapanese taking a martial arts class because karate kicks almost as much ass as Krav Maga,
    • or actually living in a traditional Japanese household in which you absolutely have to follow their customs or commit chuoside.
  • You’re a Buddhist. The tranquility of worshiping Buddha is unsurpassed. Well, that’s total fucking horseshit, since Buddha didn’t die for your sins, but hey, whatever floats your boat. You probably have your reasons for being one. However, if you tuned in to this theological brainstorm because it’s supposedly the official licensed religion of the Japan because you saw it in an episode of Ranma 1/2 or something, you should probably be thumped with bibles by lunatic Christians. Preferably to the point of irreversible brain damage and incontinence, especially since Buddhism is Indian and yet India doesn’t have Buddha worship, and Japan’s religion is Shinto. Dumb Wapanese, Buddhism is for Indians!
  • You own a Dollfie. Don’t know what that is, and (still) don’t want to own one after finding out what it is after clicking that link? Good.
  • You listen to J-pop. This is toeing the line, unless:
    • you only listen to it when you’re stoned and,
    • you laugh your ass off at the lyrics, which usually consist of 1-2 sentences of Japanese, and the rest being poorly sung verse in Engrish.
  • You add chan or any other Japanese crap to the end of friends’ names. Unforgivably Wapanese, yes. And deserves 20 beatings multiplied by the amount of “ite” and “dame” that they yelp. Luckily local authorities do not understand wapanese talk thus ignoring the screams for help as part of some kind of out door horseplaying resulting in many lulz.
  • You use anime-style horizontal emoticons in regular online conversation. (e.g. ^___^ and o3o) It might be initially good for a few lulz but can become deadly when combined with other Wap habits, much like Ecstasy and Meth.
  • You know what napukin dorobo no desu means even though you don’t really speak Japanese and it applies to you when you go to Little Tokyo, you sick fuck. And when you read this, you got all hot and bothered, and had to take a break from your job as an IT specialist and run to the bathroom to fap for great justice. Face it, your cock rises and falls with the land of the rising sun and your lulzy attempts at downplaying this are as stealth as a fat girl on a Vespa.

SEE ALSO

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OrangeJuice ! オレンジジュウク

June 15, 2007

 Oh noes! Read previous OrangeJuice comments for explanation. :B